Rejected again

Well that was a great day - two rejections. I don't even get interviews, I have tweaked and altered my CV in an attempt to get people to look over my abilities but they all ignore me.

*sigh*

I don't want to get back into retail. It's not fun, it wont pay nearly enough to do anything other than keep me treading on water. Not that there are a lot of retail jobs out there for me - I'm too experienced. >:(

Also, despite my good sales skills, I hate sales. I just can't lie to people about something. Unless I genuinely believe in the product- I'm wasting my breath, because they see on my face that I don't believe what I'm saying.

Frank Casey's worked because it wasn't about selling, it was about impressing. Which means I could go into the hospitality industry again - but if there is one thing I hate more than retail, it's working hospitality. I just don't have the patience for the rudeness that you are always inflicted with. Hospitality is the kind of industry you either do as a part-time thing, or as a career.

I went to Uni to get out of that industry.

I have a freaking analyst's degree and I have all these recruitment agencies telling me I don't have the skills.

Wankers.

One company even told me I was too skilled and would be bored! Honestly, it is getting to the point where my next cover letter will read something like this:


To whom it may concern,

I know you will be getting a lot of CVs at this time for this hotly contested role. But I want to let you know why you will inevitably regret turning mine away. Because I am a bubbly, friendly guy who has had such a broad range of experience and the adaptibility to learn constantly. I am a lateral thinker and a problem solver. I'm the guy who would have not only provided an excellent level of productivity in the job, but would have provided the company with a new insight into how to expand beyond its current direction.

With my ability to think out of the box I can provide ideas that would have never occured to anyone else. Of course I understand that you are only a recruiter who doesn't actually know that kind of skills would be useful to the role - you just want to tick off my skills from the list and then have that coffee that Doris left you on your desk before playing another game of pong with the guy across the office room from you.

Yeah, he's kind of cute, not my type - but I think he kinds of digs you. But if you could just take a little time out of your busy flirting schedule to take my application seriously, maybe things might go well for you. After all, he's been spending the last hour trying to figure out how to ask you to join the gang for drinks after work. Of course you'll say yes, if you don't you'll just end up drinking coffee all day and inadvertantly dooming hundreds of businesses to obscurity because you failed to put the right people up for interview - all because you have no passion for your job.

Don't lie to yourself. You hate your job. Why else would you be so willing to send a guy like me a rejection e-mail that you didn't even personally write to me, but just mass e-mailed to all the other people who have already moved on to look for other jobs.

What makes me different from all the other schmucks out there. Well, for one, I'm ballsy enough to write this letter.

I don't blame you, really. I'd hate to work in recruitment. That's why I'm applying for this job. Look, just because you have a diploma is great, but if you try to tell me that a degree in critical analysis and research is not the skills list for an analyst's role I may just have to send you nasty thoughts. That might give me a migraine... or an aneurism - you wouldn't want my going into a coma on your conscience would you?

I didn't think so.

It's not that I think that you're a nasty person. I just think you're a retard if you don't get me that interview. Hey, don't look now but that cute guy's coming over. What did I tell you? Come on, if I could pick that one I must be good. Right?

I can come in for an interview on Friday. About ten in the morning suits me. Just send me the address and name of who I'm speaking to.

If you don't... bad thoughts. I'm ready to send them at any point. But if you give me the interview I'll be sending you loads of good will. Come on, how could you turn down anything like that?

By the way, don't sleep with him on the first date or he wont respect you.

Catchya!

Conan"


A bit much?

Love and Huggles

Conan

Currently Reading: Fireborn Gamemasters Guide
Currently Playing:Fireborn - Rememberance
Mood: Tired and worried