Frustration

I seem to have a knack of getting myself into odd fixes. So I responded to some comments on Mash's LJ - not even relating to what he was saying but to what other people had said, and before I had really paid any attention to what was going on, I was in a huge ripsnorter of an argument with Mash about GNS again.

Wow.

It took me a while - because I was feeling stubborn and obstinate no doubt - to realise that we were arguing at cross-purposes and that I would have been wiser to just leave the argument alone. The problem was I allowed myself to get frustrated and flustered. Now I'm no longer listed as friend on Mash's LJ and he's pretty upset.

It really got me thinking about how I do tend to get very analytical when I debate, I don't really pay attention to the things going on beyond the argument itself, and tend to rabidly stick to my guns. Now I feel that I had a reasonable argument, and i think I got frustrated because it didn't feel that anyone was really considering what I was saying. The thing was, I was ignoring what was happening in the debate outside of the simple discussion.

*sigh*

What can I say? The worst bit about these kinds of things is that there is no easier fix than time. So thankfully I will be out of Mash's way for the next couple of days, giving him to time enjoy Ultimate and spend time without me hanging around being a nuisance or inadvertantly baiting for another argument. I get to spend time with Aslan, Debbie, Luke, Matt, Nick, Sam and Shishi and avoid getting into another debate right now.

The thing is I'm kind of over the debate itself - GNS, roleplaying theory and the like are just not worth losing friendships over. I handled myself poorly and made things a bit messy. :(

Debates can get so heated, and it takes a lot of discipline to handle them properly. I didn't do the one hour rule - where you right your response, wait an hour and if you still agree with what you posted... then you post it. I suspect if I had taken that time, I would have been more eloquent about what I was trying to say, would have probably not said half the things I did and been able to move on.

But for now, I can only take the advice I was given - take a step back and let it go. I'm more concerned about Mash than anything else, I guess.

Here's hoping tomorrow brings a shiny new day.

Love and Huggles

Conan

Currently Reading: A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
Currently Playing: Fireborn - Rememberance; Unknown Armies - To Go; Mage: The Awakening - Threshold
Mood: Frustrated, Tired and Disappointed in myself...