Much of life reminds me of that discussion. There is a group of theorists who believe that technology merely helps humans be humans in new and novel ways. So while on the surface things like texting allow us to communicate faster - we still bully each other.
Blogs allow us to be open about our thoughts - but not really change us from being what we were before.
Is this a fact? Or a confused mix.
I was recently watching Get Real and realised just how much... and how little attitudes have changed in our society.
We live in a tolerant situation where it's okay for people to be gay, but at the same time there is still a certain stigma connected to it. Even the homosexual community ends up supporting this stigma.
The whole idea of being "out" is supposed to be about freedom. But I remember when I was 17, not that long ago, and being out was a sure fire way to being ostracised by friends and family.
Even today, despite massive headway in social tolerance, this is often the case. But now there is the added conflict of dealing with the gay scene - which has never really moved on from the closet days of sex clubs and tea rooms.
I remember once my mother making a comment about gay men being the loneliest people in the world, and I think she's kind of right. There is something difficult about being someone who is not only confused about sexuality, but about love too.
See, the thing about being straight and in love is that there is a vast plethora of material supporting that. We are bombarded by images of heterosexual love daily. Which is fine. But compare traditional love stories with those of gay ones from film and fiction.
Traditional love stories tend to deal with romance, some sex and eventually a future. Sure, there are many tragic love stories - but there are many more happy endings.
Most gay fiction instead presents relationships built on sexual attraction, rarely explore what love is or how a gay relationship can work. Gay relationships are often portrayed as doomed or tragic. Even Brokeback Mountain - which presents the emotional side of such a relationship, ends on a down note.
There are very few stories that end happily.
These are the role models for gay youth. Tragic romances doomed to failure, guys always having to accept being alone, or else taking on the role of the over-camp man who sleeps around.
Even Queer Eye for the Straight Guy presents a weak role model - being gay is about being a living stereotype.
To make matters worse, younger gay men don't even take advantage of how easy they have it. Nowadays it is much easier to come out and have a real relationship, but instead many get wrapped up into a stereotyped lifestyle simply to feel accepted. While this mirrors many heterosexual cliques during teens and early twenties - the problem is gay men just don't know what they are supposed to do after getting into a relationship.
Where is there to go? Families are still not really accepted, civil unions are legally accepted but many people frown on them. What exactly is the perceived future of a gay couple? According to the media - eventual break-up or an early grave.
No wonder so many guys stay in the closet.
I guess I get frustrated with how messed up many gay men's thinking goes.
Sometimes I forget that everyone - gay, bi or straight - has trouble when it comes to figuring out what love is.
In the movies love is easy to figure out. But in life, it is difficult. But worse still when the perceived norm is to have sex with someone and then fall in love.
When dating is simply a formality to decide if sex is an option or not.
I know, I'm sounding all old and cynical. I still believe that most people want to love and be loved. I also know that it's hard to find someone in this world. Some of us get lucky and find that someone straight away.
But for people like me...
I guess this post is more about me than about gay men or cinema or anything like that.
I'm not really sure how I feel at the moment about things. I'm tired. Lonely. Still a disorganised mess of a person.
But I'm also aware that while I may not be as attractive as I once was, I'm not exactly ugly. I know that my heart is in the right place, that I want to do the right thing and that I genuinely care about people. I know that while I often say "I give up," I never do. I know that whoever I end up with I will make that person the happiest person on earth. Heck, in the whole universe.
I know all these things. But how do I show it to someone else? How do I convince someone to take that chance? Worst of all, how can I tell when someone is open to the possibility of a date?
People are always being so coy. Which brings me back to the initial commentary. We live in a tolerant society, but we still shy from talking about when we like someone.
Instead we play coy little games, which can be fun for a while - but if you rely on them... you'll never get anywhere. Or we avoid the person we like. Or we pretend that there is nothing there. Or try to convince ourselves we're wrong.
And then the moment slips us by.
Or you end up like me, completely oblivious to anything. Avoiding taking the chance because what if I read the signs wrong. Then I end up humilitating myself and the other person.
I do feel that many people in relationships forget how hard it is being single.
Where does that leave us?
Love and Huggles
Conan
Currently Reading: Nine Worlds
Currently Playing: Fireborn - Rememberance; Unknown Armies - To Go; Mage: The Awakening - Threshold
Mood: Thinking about life...
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