See I understand Nick's dillemma because it happens constantly to a friend of mine, James. Now James is about Nick's age, a little older, and lives up in Auckland. James is studying computers and engineering, but he is also keen to become an actor as a career. (Ahhh the innocence of youth. Kidding, kidding.)
Now James is a very attractive, slim and healthy young man. But he has that kind of feline/pretty boy look, which ends up giving a lot of people the impression that he is gay. Add his lithe form, tendancy to be graceful when he moves and comfort with being intimately friendly (i.e. hugging) with his close friends... you can see the problem.
While I was up in Auckland this week, he was asked no less than three separate times if he was gay, or it was implied or stated that he seemed gay. Which I, naturally, found amusing personally.
The way I see it is that most woman are now finding that they have to ask before they try to flirt with a guy. Especially up in Auckland, because a well dressed, attractive and sexy male is likely to be either in a relationship or gay. Chances are if he is flirting back, he's a gay guy who has mistakenly thought you were just being camp with him. Frustrating for women.
The irony is that the same problem exists for gay men- if you meet an attractive, guy who is well-dressed and well-spoken(We're not talking hardcore camping ground scout jamboree types here) chances are that he'll be straight.
So how is this happening? Straight guys getting called gay, gay guys only being approached by women and straight men only being approached by gay men?
Personally, I put it down to stereotyping and people expecting others to fit into categories.
Look. Gay men aren't all "Are you being served" campy queens. Sure, a large proportion of them are - but not all. Some are very normal people who you wouldn't guess. But conversely, just because a guy wears pink and likes to dance and be sensitive - he's not necessarily gay.
It's okay to be sensitive. In fact, it's damn healthy.
Now I like gay jokes as much as the next person - really. I can see and appreciate the humour. But sometimes it can go too far. People can get frustrated and hurt.
Not that I have to face a problem with the issue. *Chuckle*
But it does upset me when friends get constantly hassled about it and the response from the people doing the hassling is "he just needs to get tough." It's hard for a guy who is straight to be taken seriously if whenever he's around his friends they tease him about being gay. It can also lead to some very uncomfortable situations that potentially ruin friendships.
And it's hard enough for gay guys to deal with their own issues when they can't feel comfortable about talking about their relationships for fear of ridicule. Even when that ridicule is only meant to be just for fun and not serious.
Hmmm
I guess that's enough lecturing for today. :) I'm just saying, be aware of your friend's feelings. Also - if you are upset by people teasing - just say so. If they keep on going (especially after constantly being told to stop) - they're not being good friends.
To quote Jack Nicholson - Why can't we all just... get along? :)
Love and Huggles
Conan
Currently Reading:Weapons of the Gods RPG; Prey by Michael Crichton
Mood: Good and healthy. :)
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