Well today's post has been a bit of an odd one to think about. It started with some negative frustration, but with the aid of some very special people, I think I can now turn it to a more positive frame of mind.
It has come to my attention that some people have been visiting this blog and ridiculing me for discussing my feelings on such an open forum. They have found amusement in my commenting about the troubles I've been facing, the concerns and emotional problems that I've dealt with over the last year.
Naturally, this upset me. But after some thought, I've come to realise that I really have nothing to be upset about. See, the thing about being open is that you take power away from people to benefit from holding things against you. So I'm going to be open and honest right now. To those of you who found my problems amusing - I feel sorry for you.
The thing about my being so honest on this blog is because I use it for a variety of reasons.
It has come to my attention that some people have been visiting this blog and ridiculing me for discussing my feelings on such an open forum. They have found amusement in my commenting about the troubles I've been facing, the concerns and emotional problems that I've dealt with over the last year.
Naturally, this upset me. But after some thought, I've come to realise that I really have nothing to be upset about. See, the thing about being open is that you take power away from people to benefit from holding things against you. So I'm going to be open and honest right now. To those of you who found my problems amusing - I feel sorry for you.
The thing about my being so honest on this blog is because I use it for a variety of reasons.
- Firstly, I use it to help put my thoughts into focus. The average human being processes thousands of thoughts and often these can get all confused and muddled - which leads to miscommunication. The whole point of Stream of Consciousness is just as the name implies - it is a stream of thoughts with the aim of getting somewhere.
- Secondly, I know that I'm not the only person who has these kinds of problems and thoughts. By being open and honest about them, I am letting other people out there know that it isn't something only they are going through. Communication is built on open dialogue. By being willing to talk about the things bugging me, I am able to show that problems ARE universal.
- Also, by being open about things, they can no longer be held against me as emotional bribery. Yes. I said something negative. Now that it's out there I can do something about it and move on. If other people can't, maybe they need to ask themselves why.
So the upshot of all this is that it is always best to just tell the truth. If something upsets you - get it out there and then you are able to deal with it.
It is somewhat sad when people think that this is funny - because that suggests that they have something to hide. It is so easy to mock others who have the guts to expose themselves to ridicule. But I have nothing to be ashamed of, and contrary to what some people have said, it doesn't show me in a negative light. It shows that I am human and flawed. That I am willing to show those flaws in the hope of sharing my problems with others in the spirit of moving forward with my life.
And if you think that it isn't working - consider the following:
It is somewhat sad when people think that this is funny - because that suggests that they have something to hide. It is so easy to mock others who have the guts to expose themselves to ridicule. But I have nothing to be ashamed of, and contrary to what some people have said, it doesn't show me in a negative light. It shows that I am human and flawed. That I am willing to show those flaws in the hope of sharing my problems with others in the spirit of moving forward with my life.
And if you think that it isn't working - consider the following:
- I am surrounded by supportive friends who are honest and able to tell me when I'm being a fool.
- My business has recently doubled it's value from the initial outlay, and is showing signs of continued growth.
- I am back into writing and have many ideas for future novels too
- I have started working on ideas for a screenplay, and have the contacts now to get a small film underway in the near future (although with the amount of work I have set myself this year, any film making is likely to be in 2008. :) )
These are hardly the signs of someone who is to be ridiculed. Truth is always better than lying to others, and especially better than lying to oneself. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I have overcome many of them. I am in a very positive situation now. Things are improving because I stuck to being honest, because I have used this blog to help me overcome a lot of my internal issues and because I am not afraid to be truthful. Because ultimately I have done no wrong.
Some people need to learn to face the truth and deal with it. That's what I have spent the last year doing - and it has helped me immensely. I don't see how that is worthy of mockery.
So to all my friends - thank-you for all being who you are and helping me gain so much insight into the universe. I have learnt what true friendship is, and I value every one of the friends I have - and I know that the number of people I count as true friends also seriously outnumbers those who have chosen to mock this blog.
That is an objective and provable truth as well.
Love and Huggles
Conan
Currently Reading: China Mieville's Looking for Jake
Currently Playing: Exalted: Nexus of the Sun
Mood: Feeling good
Some people need to learn to face the truth and deal with it. That's what I have spent the last year doing - and it has helped me immensely. I don't see how that is worthy of mockery.
So to all my friends - thank-you for all being who you are and helping me gain so much insight into the universe. I have learnt what true friendship is, and I value every one of the friends I have - and I know that the number of people I count as true friends also seriously outnumbers those who have chosen to mock this blog.
That is an objective and provable truth as well.
Love and Huggles
Conan
Currently Reading: China Mieville's Looking for Jake
Currently Playing: Exalted: Nexus of the Sun
Mood: Feeling good
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