Of course I gave about five weeks notice and as long as I behave myself, I will be leaving on good terms. Despite all the stress, I recognise that the main reason I'm leaving is so that I can focus on building up ESG to the point where it can support me.
Scary stuff.
I chatted with my boss and he agreed that I would be better served taking a part-time job that didn't clash with my business interests. He also mentioned that there will always be a position with them for me if I wanted it back. Which made me feel good to know that this risky venture I'm taking has a net to fall back on that doesn't involve me moving all the way back to Auckland. :)
I love Wellington, I don't want to move away if I can avoid it.
So that's one issue down, a few more to go. :D
My printer guy is finally on target - I will have books on my doorstep according to him by tomorrow. Maybe even by this evening. (Fingers crossed)
In other positive news, we may have sorted out the flatmate issue. I guess the idea that if you follow the right path the universe opens the way may indeed hold true.
So that leaves the big question - with ESG now lined up to get more attention from me, printing to be increasing to help with financial growth and flatmate issues resolved... it leaves a question of how do I take the next step up Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. lol.
Love. Hmmmm. Definitely the most difficult challenge of the lot.
I keep worrying that I'm never going to be satisfied with anyone. But that's not true. There are people out there that I would have been happy to be with - heck I've talked about them enough.
So it comes down to finding out who would be happy to be with someone like me? I think this is the problem for many of us who have trouble finding love. We tend to be drawn to people who aren't drawn to us. It's a hard thing to resolve because no one is to blame - it's just all unfortunate attraction.
The worst bit is when you do like someone, think they might like you and then facing the prospect that you have to make the first move.
That's a really scary step to make. Especially if you find out that they weren't signalling interest, that you had read more into their actions because of your own attraction and hope that they might like you.
Take, for example, the cute guy at the internet cafe. Over the last few months I've been coming in here regularly and smiling and talking to him. He remembered my login id, I just come up and say that I want to put money on my account and he didn't even ask which account it was.
Now I have never told him my name, but he has remembered it from my account - because the other day I walked past and he just said "Seeya Conan."
That caught me a bit by surprise - because he usually is quite staunch and stoic.
Today he said hi to me and we exchanged a couple of little pleasantries.
Now it would be easy to make the mistake that he might be signalling interest - after all he doesn't do that for all account holders. Even regulars.
BUT I have been making an effort to talk to him. It's good business practice to build relationships between business and customers.
*sigh*
Not mention that I'm certain I've seen him with his girlfriend. (I assume she was. :D)
So what's the point? Well that it is very very difficult to tell someone you like them because of the risks involved. Doubly so when you aren't even sure of their sexuality and how they will respond.
Shame really. :D I feel kind of sad at the moment, but not depressed. I have too much else that is going on to wallow in my singlehood. :)
Still... it would be nice to have someone who can be a partner-in-crime with me...
Love and Huggles
Conan
Currently Reading: The Reality Dysfunction (Not that I've read any more recently... :D )
Currently Playing: Exalted: The Seventh Legion
Mood: Scared witless about my future, but oddly calm and good about it at the same time.
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